Recently someone asked me, for the 50 millionth time, if I am a model or if I played ball.
For the first time these two very annoying questions didn’t annoy me at all. Maybe it had less to do with the question itself and more to do with who was asking the question. It could have also been less annoying because of the environment I was in. All I know is that I felt a strange sense of relief.
The real question is why has it bothered me in the past and why doesn’t it bother me anymore? Beyond the obvious reasons of it being annoying that almost everyone I meet asks me how tall I am and if I am a model or ball player.
Here are my reasons
1) I worked really hard in school to get good grades; to not have to worry about paying for college because my family couldn’t afford it. I fought to be put in honors and AP classes and I struggled my way through every last one of them. You wouldn’t know it (my struggling through classes) by my grades but I literally had to study and work twice as hard just to keep up. That’s why it bothered me when people focused on my physical attributes given I worked really hard on my intellectual attributes. So when it came time to choose between pursuing a modeling career or go to college I chose the ‘I’m smart enough’ and ‘secure a career’ route. I was looking for stability not stardom and college was the only path I could see that would help me accomplish just that.
2). I didn’t have a respect for the game of basketball or the profession of modeling. By respect, I mean I didn’t recognize it’s full value. Not to mention my passion for the game of basketball and modeling were not as strong as my desire to get a college degree. That’s the whole truth. I wanted to be the woman with the brief case running a business. Mind you I played basketball in high school and I knew it wasn’t an easy sport. The amount of hours I put in the gym, on the court and in the weight room should have been enough to know the game deserved ‘respect.’ All while modeling looked easy to me and seemed like a direct line to a drug addiction. The latter being something I wanted to avoid at all costs.
3) …and y’all are gonna be like ‘whatever’ when you read this because although I consider myself a confident woman who was lucky to grow up with a tall mom that loved her height I’ve actually struggled, especially in my youth, with identifying as a woman of beauty. I had height confidence, but as a tall woman I didn’t fit the standard description of petite and beautiful and that made me question anyone who described me as ‘beautiful’. I’m also an Aries and the eldest child. So I’m decisive with a take charge attitude and I don’t always smile. Put that and my height together & others put me in the intimidating box. Not to mention I am a #Latina, but I don’t have the fair skin or looser curly pattern that people associate beauty with in my culture. So I just really had and sometimes still do have a hard time believing ‘I’m beautiful’ in the way others have seen me. Now I can take a good picture but when I’m stripped down to just me…no make-up, no weave, just freckles and an ok head of hair (as you see in the attached photos) I don’t always feel like model material. So here I am. Flaws and all living in my truth and reminding myself every day that I am uniquely and wonderfully made.
Which leads me to my ‘why.’ Why wasn’t I annoyed by the two most frequently asked question every tall person deals with? I believe it was because this particular person was asking about it from a genuinely good and curious place. My own response caught me off guard (I didn’t use sarcasm to respond lol). Plus the questions were actually related to my current interest in a career within the entertainment industry this time.
Does the model or sports question still bother you? Why or why not? Share in the comment section.
Outfit details:
Jeans: Alloy Apparel
(1) Powerstretch London Skinny Jeans (Grey jean), $59.90, sale – $39.99
Fit: Be sure to order your exact size or a size smaller. The size chart is your friend. Otherwise it will bunch up on you.
(2) Powerstretch London Skinny Jeans (Dark Rinse), $59.90, sale – $39.99
Tall District Code (20% off): JENOVY20
Tall Blessings,
J. Enovy
theresa
Thank you for sharing your journey and being real, honest and open about your identity. So many of us struggle as you have and stories such as yours help us to know we are not alone. So many want to label us as if we’re people with no feelings but like someone said, it does not matter what people think of you as long as you don’t believe it and it does not matter what God says, if you’re not going to believe it. Be blessed and stay strong.
J. Enovy
Hi, Theresa!
You’re totally welcome. Thank you so much for the kind words and for acknowledging what tall girls often believe they are experiencing in isolation. We are not alone. We are literally ‘standing tall’ together.
Tall Blessings,
J. Enovy
Daphne Barnwell
Thank you for this article. I deal with that all the time and no I don’t get annoyed by those questions anymore either. The reason being is I read a quote and it changed my life ” I can’t help that God choose me to stand out”. I love it and I use it every time someone makes a comment about my height and then I tell them everybody can not live this TALL life. Thank you for all that you do for us tall Divas:)
J. Enovy
You’re so welcome. I am truly happy that sharing my ‘tall experience’ about one of the nagging questions we receive way too often.
Tall Blessings,
J. Enovy
P.S. – I love the quote.
chelli
a woman on her phone on the train once didn’t want anyone to sit in the seat next to her. It was crowded, and I was pregnant, so I say down. She announced into her phone that a giant has sat down next to her, with irritation. People can be rude but I’ve never minded being tall, I certainly don’t have to play small to please anyone who wants to spread out onto 2 seats during rush hour.